CHOOSING TO WALK IN THE LIGHT

October 22, 2014 7:27 pm , Leave a Comment ,

Walking in the Light

With a forlorn tone in my voice, I told my mother, “Nobody understands.” I was venting to my mom about how hard things were in my life at the time. My mom in her wise and loving way, said, “You’re right, nobody does understand, and they never will. Jesus understands though. And He is the only One who will ever be able to fully understand what you’re feeling and what you’re going through.”

It was years ago that my mom’s words helped to jolt me out of my big pity party. It was a defining moment for me that helped to change the course of my thinking. Mama’s words were etched in my heart permanently as a reminder of how Jesus is the only One who can satisfy the longings of the human soul.

During the darkest season of my life, in the 90s, I made a choice to walk away from the things and thoughts that were keeping me from living and walking in the light.

Feeling sorry for myself was a snare in my life that was robbing me of the abundance I was longing for. Self-pity is such a destructive, life-stealing, ugly force that steals beautiful moments of abundant living from anybody who falls prey to it.

As we read in John 16: 33, Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

When we embrace the fact that Jesus can help us overcome anything and make a conscious decision to focus on His love and not on our difficult situations, then amazingly our problems begin getting solved in the most supernatural ways. That’s exactly what happened in my life.

I was in a pit in 1997, and it was a living hell for me. After my family and my special friend, Bonnie, encouraged me to keep seeking the Lord, I took a hundred and eighty degree turn from my self-destructive thought patterns and chose to pray boldly for help from God. On the days I could barely get out of bed, I would focus on God by reading the Bible. I wrote Bible verses on index cards and hung them in various places so that I would stay focused on the truth of God’s words. And I would turn on my Larnelle Harris C.D. and listen to his song, “I Choose Joy” over and over and over and over until joy came bursting out of my heart.

Once I began taking every thought captive and meditating on the truths of the Bible, then my spirit felt renewed, I began living in peace, and miracles began coming forth.

Transformation begins with us turning away from negativity and taking a step toward Christ. God doesn’t just snatch us out of the darkness. He says if we seek Him with all our hearts, then we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).

Are you feeling the darkness closing in on you? If so, I pray that you will begin today to seek God with every fiber of your being. As you are steadfast in your pursuit of Christ, the light will overcome the darkness in your life.

Be encouraged. Jesus has overcome the world!

“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.  If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:5-7 (ESV)

 

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PRAYER: BEING STILL IN GOD’S PRESENCE

October 9, 2014 5:52 pm , Leave a Comment ,

Be Still, and Know That I Am God

Without hearing God’s voice or knowing His direction, life would be like a train running free without an engineer. My life looked like a train wreck during a season of busyness that pulled me away from a life of prayer. After desperation set in, I got back on the path with God; and things in my life began turning around.

In Proverbs 3: 5 and 6, it says, “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.”

There is no better shepherd than Christ. He directs our paths perfectly, leading us to the destinies He planned for us before we were born. When we are on the path with Him, life becomes the journey we were meant to live. I’ve had to learn this the hard way. If only my mistakes will help another soul stay on the path with Jesus, it will be worth all the times I drifted off track with God.

I’m not talking about religious rituals here. I am talking about being still in the presence of God and letting His voice lead every step. This is the path that leads to the abundant life Jesus promised us.

In my eBook, I shared some of the struggles that arose when I stopped seeking God wholeheartedly.  In the following excerpt, you will see how my life got off track during a season when being still and prayer had become less of a priority in my life.

The book excerpt begins here.

As a child, it’s easier to admit weakness and bow down to God. But there’s something that happens as we grow older: our hearts change, and our way of thinking changes. It becomes harder to enter into the place of total submission to God and it seems natural to begin seeking out other ways to find comfort. This is what happened to me. By the time I was eighteen years old, I was going to my secret place with God less and less. Yet I still desired to be close to Him.

This same year, I met and fell in love with a young man who loved God. Michael and I got married when I was nineteen with the hopes and dreams of following Christ together. I wrote a prayer in 1985, the year I got married, that truly reveals the desire in my heart to live for Christ.

Dear Lord,

I need You so badly. It seems like the only time I’m desperately crying out to You is at the lowest times in my life. And I’m sorry for that. I know You want me to learn to depend on You like an infant with its mother. But oh, dear God, it’s so hard. I always think I can do it on my own. Please help me and make me what You want me to be—make me the kind of friend, daughter, and wife You want me to be.

Please give me the desire in my heart to pray more and read Your Word more. Please fill me with Your Spirit and really change my heart. Make me new inside. I know You love me more than I could ever imagine. And I couldn’t live without Your love. Thank You for loving me no matter what I do to reject You. I pray in Your name. Amen.

During the twelve years after I had written that prayer, I settled comfortably into my marriage and became complacent in my spiritual journey. I was consumed with other things—allowing my marriage to come before God, working a corporate job for a number of years, and volunteering many hours in our church. These things were all distracting me from the passionate desire I once had to wholeheartedly follow Christ. Michael and I were going through all the Christian motions by tithing and attending as many church activities as we could fit into our already full schedule. From a religious standpoint, we were doing everything right as a young, Christian couple. The most vital thing was missing though. My passion toward God had been replaced with a shallow faith. The love relationship I once had with Him was a distant memory. And it all culminated into a depressed state when my life seemed hopeless.

After that Wednesday night when I finally broke down, my eyes were opened and I could see what I had lost with the Lord. I realized my deep need for Him, and I began writing prayers more regularly in my journal. These entries reveal the desperation in my heart and spirit.

February 11, 1997

Lord, I’m really frustrated. I need to go to sleep, but I just keep thinking about everything that’s going on in my life. Please bring me rest and peace.

February 12, 1997

Lord, I really need You. It’s 3:15 a.m. and I woke up feeling uptight. I need Your peace. Now Christa is awake and she said she’s afraid. Please make her feel comfortable and able to get some rest. Please give me rest. Please help me to feel peace and comfort beyond all understanding. I know I need to trust You.

February 28, 1997

Lord, I love You and I give all my burdens to You. I surrender all to You. Please give me peace in my mind and let this struggle end.

March 5, 1997

Lord, I’m waiting for some relief. Why can’t I relax and sleep well? Are You hearing me? Please keep me well and give me the rest I need. I’m willing to do whatever it is that You want me to do. Lord, please hear my prayers.

May 22, 1997

God, do You hate me? I feel so helpless. Please show me Your love. Please make a way for me out of this.

In those desperate moments, I began to pray like I never had before. Desperation drives us to our knees like nothing else. While praying, God revealed to me that I needed to forgive my husband for some things I hadn’t been able to let go of. The words of a Scripture verse came to mind where Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21–22). Over and over, the Lord kept bringing up these Scripture verses to me, but I couldn’t locate the verses in my Bible, even though they were some of my favorite Scriptures and very familiar to me. I wrote in my journal at the beginning of February how my inability to sleep was linked with my need to forgive. It felt as though I was doing everything in my power to choose forgiveness.

About a month later, I was still struggling to sleep so I went to the altar at my church to ask for prayer. A team of prayer counselors was available to stay after the worship service for those in need of a one-on-one prayer time. A sweet woman named Cindy walked over to me and began speaking softly, saying, “Would you like to come to the counseling room for more prayer?” I’m sure she could see the sadness in my eyes.

“Yes,” I said, with a pitiful tone in my voice.

Cindy and I walked into a room, we sat down together, and she began asking me questions like: “What’s going on in your life?” I was in such a place of turmoil that I could only speak a few words.

I said, “My daughter and I are having trouble sleeping.” And that was all I felt like saying. She prayed with me, told me that she was teaching a Sunday school class about forgiveness, and handed me a piece of paper with some Scriptures she wanted me to look up when I had the chance.

Even though nothing earth-shaking seemed to happen in that moment of praying with Cindy, my spirit felt a difference. After I returned home, I opened my Bible to the Scriptures she had written down for me. As my eyes focused onto the words, I began to weep. It was Matthew 18:21–35. She had written down the exact Scriptures the Lord had already been bringing up in my prayer time. That was a pivotal moment for me and I saw the realness of Jesus in a way I had never seen Him before in my life. I couldn’t deny that the Lord was working mightily in this situation, especially since this happened in a church where the gifts of the Spirit were not prevalent or widely accepted. I knew that only God Himself could orchestrate it for someone I had never met to give me a word of knowledge straight from the heart of Christ.

Two days later, I received a note of encouragement from Cindy.

Amy,

I was praying for you and your family this morning and Psalm 4:8 is very encouraging… “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.” May God grant rest and peace to you and your daughter. Stand firm in your faith. Keep praying until God answers. Wait on the Lord!

Love in Christ,
Cindy A.

I wept again as I read her words—I knew it was a direct message of hope from God for me. The very thing I had prayed for and written in my prayer journal in the weeks prior to meeting Cindy was in her note. “May God grant ‘rest and peace’ to you…” This was a sign to me that God had heard my prayers and that He would answer them. Until this day, I have kept that note tucked inside my Bible as a reminder of where I once was and how Christ redeemed my broken past.

I never saw Cindy again after our prayer time together—mainly because the church has over 14,000 members. I found her address in the church directory and wrote her a long letter thanking her for the compassion she had showed to me, and I shared how her words had strengthened my faith. It’s amazing how God can use a complete stranger in such a powerful way to bring lifelong positive effects.

That was the beginning of a new kind of faith for me. The closeness I had felt to Christ during my youth was restored as I began seeking Him more. God rekindled the flame I had as a teenage girl. He restored me to an innocent girl—one who is fully dependent on her Creator. I returned to the place I was meant to be. I returned to my first love.

My problems had not disappeared, but I began to see God working in the midst of the struggles. A defining moment for me was on a day that I heard a still, small voice in my spirit for the first time in such a distinct way. Holy Spirit goose bumps rose all over my arms as I heard God saying, “I created the universe. I can certainly fix the problems in your life.” I knew without a shadow of doubt that the voice I heard in my heart was God. In a miraculous way, my anxiety left that day as I focused on God’s Word and continued to pray.

My close friend Bonnie encouraged me to listen to worship music continually and to meditate on Bible verses every day. Bonnie’s words of encouragement were a reminder of the faith steps my mother and grandmother had already taught me. With the encouragement of my loved ones and by communing with Christ, I was able to begin walking in forgiveness toward my husband. The walls that were separating our hearts began to come down brick by brick. It was the beginning of a deep healing in our marriage that ultimately took years to complete. Our marriage is a true miracle. It’s not perfect—no marriage is flawless. But because of the redemptive power in the blood of Christ, we love and forgive each other daily, so that we may remain close to God and to one another.

In that tumultuous season, we came to realize that prayer was the only thing that could permanently change our lives. We began to pray together as a family every night. One by one, Michael, Christa, and I would take turns praying out loud with each other. It wasn’t long before the debilitating darkness began to dissipate. A few weeks after my son Thomas was born, Christa could sleep in her own bed and not feel panicked without me by her side. By the time Thomas was eight months old, I had gone from physical and mental exhaustion to training for and running my first half-marathon race. The difference prayer had made truly was miraculous.

That was a small beginning for me in the discipline of prayer. It’s amazing how, as humans, we need adversity to push us toward God and prayer. It seems that when things are going well, we think we don’t need to pray. Perhaps that’s when we need to pray the most.

I’ve discovered that a life without prayer is like taking a sailboat out to sea and dismantling the sails. Prayer is what brings God’s power into full sail in our lives. Even though I haven’t always been faithful to pray, the Lord has been faithful to guide me and show me the need for prayer in beautiful and mysterious ways.

This is the end of the book excerpt.

Every time I think about my past, I am reminded that a life without prayer is a life without real peace.

Prayer connects us to God so that we can hear His still, small voice in our hearts. His voice soothes. His voice comforts. His voice is the anchor of our souls.

Lord,

Let us be drawn to Your heart each day. Cleanse our hearts of any iniquities that could be hindering us from hearing Your voice clearly. Let us walk daily in humility and with kindness toward all people. Let us be still and know that You are God and that You have good plans for all your children. I pray in Your name, Christ. Amen.

The Proverbs Scripture reference was taken from The Message.

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A NEW SONG

September 18, 2014 4:55 pm , Leave a Comment ,

grandfather and grandson with cloud

It was during the early morning hours. I felt weak and restless as I was facing a challenge in my life that seemed impossible to overcome.

With tears rolling down my cheeks, I bowed down at the feet of the Father. I cried out for strength. I prayed, “Father, the obstacles on the path laid out for me feel too big.” His warm embrace enveloped my heart as His love washed over me. His Spirit soothed my soul and the sweetness of His presence encircled every ounce of my being. His words flooded into my spirit.

 “Child, nothing is too big for Me. I’ll never ask you to do more than I created you for. Rest in Me. Rest in My love, rest in knowing there is nothing I’ll ask of you that will ever be too big. My grace is sufficient for you. In your weakness, My strength is made perfect. Arise my child. Let me put a new song in your heart. Let My love lift you up and carry you.”

As His loving words permeated my heart, my soul was restored in an instant. He breathed new life into my spirit and strengthened me. Joy replaced the tears. Peace covered me and made me ready to begin a new day with a new song in my heart—a song of joy for celebrating the love I had found in my Father’s arms.

With the love of God, and His strength—life is made beautiful. He carries those who completely depend on Him.

Lord, 

I lift up each one reading this prayer. Surround her with Your peace and give her a new song in her heart today—a song of joy and a song of hope for all the great things You have in store. I pray in Your name, Christ. Amen.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

— Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

 “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God”

— Psalm 40:3 (NIV)

 This post has been revised and edited from a piece I wrote in 2009.

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STRONG MARRIAGES ARE BUILT ON THE ROCK OF CHRIST

July 18, 2014 7:16 pm , Leave a Comment ,

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The sun was setting as Michael and I were walking to the edge of Mobile Bay to see the fireworks in Fairhope, Alabama. As my husband held my hand gently with his strong hand, it felt blissful to think back over nearly three decades of being married. For the first time in years, we had gotten away alone. The family-friendly and quaint city of Fairhope was the perfect way to celebrate the independence of our country and the beauty we’ve found in our marriage.

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Looking back at the beginning of our relationship, I could’ve never dreamed of how incredibly beautiful our marriage would be after twenty-nine years of being married. My grandmother had prayed for my husband since I was an infant. She often told me that she was praying for the man I would marry. Because of her words, as a young girl I possessed a unique confidence in God to lead me to the special man who was somewhere in the world waiting to reveal his love for me.

Our Wedding Picture

Twelve days after my eighteenth birthday, my prince arrived. Within six weeks, I knew Michael was the man I would marry. I wrote about it in my journal with limited words in case someone got a hold of my diary, and I kept it a secret in my heart until four weeks later, when I received the surprise of my life.

Ten weeks after we met, Michael whisked me away to the breathtaking North Georgia Mountains. He planned a day of hiking for us, and led me to Helton Creek Falls tucked deep in the woods—a place he had discovered years before and had dreamed about proposing to his future wife. While I was sitting on a tree limb in front of the waterfalls, Michael got down on his knee and presented me with a magnificent diamond ring. In his knightly way, he asked, “Will you marry me?”

Even though I’d known in my heart, Michael was the one for me; the question caught me off guard. Words about marriage had never come out of either of our mouths. It had only been seven days since Michael had first told me he loved me. I didn’t know that he’d been having the same intuitive thoughts I was having about our destiny together. He knew if he waited much longer the element of surprise would be lost. His plan worked. I was taken by complete surprise. The word, “Yes!” popped out of my mouth quicker than my mind could fully comprehend what was happening.

I was overjoyed and utterly amused by the thought of being his bride. It was a dream come true—one I had replayed over and over in my head while pretending to be a princess when I was a young girl. Even now, it evokes emotions in me, remembering the beauty of the summer we first fell in love. It was everything screenplay writers and poets write about. It was magical. If I’d not been so young, we would’ve married the summer we met.

We got married twenty-two months later in April, 1985. We were two young people passionately in love, making a pledge to walk in oneness. Some of the memories are crystal clear to me, others are not as clear. I have a twenty-seven page memory book I wrote about our wedding and honeymoon that helps to fill in the gaps.

The one detail etched in my mind above all others is how the Spirit of God was so powerful the day we said our vows. While taking communion, I wept as I sensed the Holy Spirit so powerfully. It was truly a union ordained by God. In my memory book, I wrote about how many of our guests said our wedding was the most meaningful ceremony they had ever attended. I believe our guests were sensing the powerful presence of Christ Jesus that day.

After celebrating with our family and friends, we made our departure for our much awaited honeymoon. Within minutes of arriving at our destination, an enthusiastic, young man approached our car and introduced himself to us. With a huge smile, he said, “I’m Derek.” He told us that the Just Married decorations on our car had captured his attention. We were at the Quality Inn in Orlando, Florida and weren’t expecting to get special attention. But Derek helped us carry our luggage in. Then he prayed the sweetest prayer with us about our new marriage.

We never saw Derek around the hotel again, except for one other time. During our stay there, he came to our room, knocked on the door, and handed Michael a card. Inside the card he wrote what I believe was a message from God. It was as though the young man knew we would need the encouraging words for the road ahead of us. He filled the card with words of blessings. It ended with these words: “May you both be willing to forgive each other when difficulties arise even as Christ Jesus forgives you. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, but always seek restitution promptly. May your marriage be built on the rock of Jesus who ensures stability in trying times.”

At the top of the card, he drew a picture of us standing on a rock. Next to it were the words, “The Rock of Jesus.” Many times I have wondered who Derek really was. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-five years old. How could he have so much wisdom? Was he really an angel in disguise?

On the Rock

This card has remained sacred to me since that day in 1985. I have kept it in a place of honor with our marriage certificate. Through the years when we were fighting storms that threatened to destroy our marriage, and all I could see was darkness around me, the Lord reminded me of the words of wisdom written in that card. When I felt like giving up, I held onto those words and God’s promises, and trusted the Lord to carry us through.

In the past—especially when our children were small and we had very little time for each other, the pain and disappointment in our relationship seemed impossible to recover from. But Derek’s words proved to be true, and we saw for ourselves that a marriage built firmly with Christ as the foundation will never fail. God’s love prevails no matter how much pain there is when we forgive each other daily through the power of His Holy Spirit.

Our recent trip to the Mobile Bay area will be forever etched in my mind as a time of joy and victorious celebration. As our hearts are now truly woven together as one in Christ, we celebrated and will continue to revel in all that God has done in our marriage to teach us about His love and forgiveness.

My heart is rejoicing because we made it through the fierce storms, the sun is shining brightly on our marriage, and our love is stronger than it’s ever been.

Michael and Amy

For those of you battling in your marriage I pray that you don’t give up. If my broken marriage could be restored and renewed, anyone’s can. I am confident you will make it through the heavy rains and strong winds that may come as long as you are standing firmly on the rock of Jesus Christ.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had it’s foundation on the rock.”

— Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV)

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THE PURPOSE OF PAIN

June 5, 2014 1:47 am , Leave a Comment ,

ThePurposeOfPainEdit

On a day of volunteering at a ministry that provides food to people in need, I was able to see clearly how God uses pain in our lives. As I stood next to a table that had a variety of delicious foods, I picked up a pie and handed it to a sweet, young mom. Tears came streaming down her face as she saw the abundance of food we were giving her family. The pie seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back, or to put it in better words: It was the pie that touched the mother’s heart. She was obviously deeply touched by the generosity of God through this ministry.

Through her tears, she began telling me that her small children had been without enough food to fill their tummies the previous week. While she was sharing her heart, I was overcome with weepy emotions. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I embraced her tightly. Her story was taking my mind back to the time when I was experiencing a difficult circumstance similar to hers.

As I remembered my pain, I told her, “It will get better with God’s help; I promise.”

Memories flooded my mind as I hugged her. I thought about the years my husband’s home-based business was struggling and he delivered pizza for less than $7.00 an hour while I was home-schooling our children and working part-time. As I listened to her painful story, I remembered the day when our refrigerator was almost empty and my daughter asked me, “Are we going to starve, Mommy?”

Join me over at DaySpring’s (in)courage site to read the rest of the story. I’m super excited to be a guest contributor to one of the best women’s ministry websites online.

Posted in: Making a Difference, Stories of Faith , Tagged: , , , ,

JESUS MAKES BEAUTIFUL THINGS

June 2, 2014 5:45 pm , Leave a Comment ,

Beauty for Ashes - Isaiah 61

As I shut off my cell phone, I burst into a deep heartfelt cry. I’d just listened to someone spill their heart about a really tragic circumstance. I could feel the pain of another person’s heart entering into mine. It hurt me deeply to watch a loved one go through such an excruciatingly painful thing that seemed more like a nightmare than reality.

After I dried my tears, my mind filled with thoughts and questions. How can this be redeemed? How can anything good come out of this tragedy?

Within moments, the questions left my mind and I felt the warmth of Christ’s love wash over me. In my spirit, I could hear Him whispering, “I can make beauty out of anything.”

As the day went on, I felt God’s presence and peace so intensely, and I remembered the song, Beautiful Things, recorded by Gungor. I rushed to my computer and pulled up the video online. As I listened to the words, I began to weep again. This time it was different though. My tears were not filled with distress like earlier in the day. The tears were an expression of joy as I meditated on the fact that Jesus is the Beauty-maker.

If He could take a broken, messed up life like mine and turn it into a beautiful story of love, He can surely take my loved one’s or anyone’s life and turn the ugliness into something beautiful.

My life is proof that Jesus creates beauty out of messes. He healed my broken, painful marriage and turned my seeds of hatred into mountains of love. He turned my depression into unspeakable joy. He breathed life into my broken spirit and made me new.

Because of the way Christ has redeemed my past, I choose to have child-like faith for every person’s life—not just my own. No matter how big the mountain is in a person’s life, it’s not too big for Jesus. He is the healer of broken hearts and the mender of all things.

With my redeemed life, I’ve made it one of my life’s purposes to spread encouragement everywhere I go and to pray without ceasing for those who haven’t yet seen Christ’s beauty revealed in their lives.

For those experiencing anguish, you can be assured that Christ will replace the ashes of your past with a crown of beauty and give you a joyous blessing instead of despair. The Spirit of God holds a ray of light so intense that it will penetrate the darkest places of your soul and will fill you with an indescribable peace as you trust Christ to make beautiful things out of your pain.

 “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” — Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

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REMAINING CLOSE TO CHRIST FOR STRENGTH IN MARRIAGE

May 23, 2014 12:14 pm , 4 Comments ,

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Michael looks into my eyes and takes my breath away. Twenty-nine years after we said our vows in front of God and our loved ones, our love is stronger than ever.

During the hard years when the children were young and the stress seemed insurmountable, there were times when I actually felt nothing toward the man I had vowed to love forever. The misunderstandings and the hurts had taken their toll on my heart and it all seemed impossible to repair.

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Now I know that with Christ all things are possible (Luke 1:37). Love grows out of hearts that are knitted closely with God. His love never fails.

I understand why God asks that we pledge our love to each other for the rest of our earthly lives because it takes a lifetime to learn how to love unconditionally and fearlessly.

After nearly three decades, our love is deeper than I could have ever imagined; it is a true miracle. As we remain close to Christ, His love is the strength of our marriage.

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” — Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)

I’m linking up for Five Minute Friday where Lisa Jo Baker and other awesome people write for five minutes flat with no self critiquing or no striving for perfection. This week’s prompt is: “Close.” It took me more than five minutes to write this post today.

The photos were taken the day we celebrated twenty-five years of marriage by renewing our wedding vows.

Five Minute Friday

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THE SECRET PLACE OF GOD’S LOVE

May 16, 2014 5:49 pm , Leave a Comment ,

Psalm 91

On a summer day in 2008 when I was working at a nearby country club as a server, I was taken by surprise when fear tried to grip my heart. A new man had been hired and I could see darkness all around him and tremendous hurt in his eyes. My discomfort grew when he began spilling out words that sounded more like lines from a scary movie than words a person would speak to their co-worker. I had an eerie feeling in my gut whenever I was near him.

After several days of working with the new employee, I was feeling a tremendous burden as I faced my fears. I was seeking God for answers, seeking to know whether the vibe I was discerning was truly accurate. While praying with my family about the situation, I paused to allow the tears to flow as my spirit felt compassion for this man who desperately needed Jesus.

For as far back as I can remember I battled with fear of bad guys. I thought there was a monster living under my bed when I was a little girl. I remember being tormented, as I lay awake in my bedroom of our very old house. I would hear noises in the attic, and I would want to sleep close to my mom and dad. As I grew older and grew closer to the Lord, my fears subsided. But occasionally, invasive thoughts of bad things would come back to visit.

The unsettling words of the man at work stirred up fear and were taunting me enough that I knew I had to pray fervently. I prayed over and over for this co-worker to be drawn to Christ’s heart. Praying for the man wasn’t enough to sooth my spirit though. I needed to hear the voice of the Lord. I needed His comfort and His Spirit to show me I was being cared for in the midst of my feelings of uncertainty. I needed the heavy burden to lift off of me.

I asked the Lord to speak to me and encourage my heart. I went to the altar for prayer during our worship service. My spirit was longing to know I had nothing to fear and to know I would be safely shielded in the shadow of God’s wings. After my friends at church prayed for me, I felt better, but I was still battling with unrest in my spirit.

Later in the day, after I arrived home from church, I began sorting through a pile of scarves I had left on my bed earlier while scurrying to find the right one to wear that morning. Then while putting the scarves away, I noticed a camouflage-colored bandana in the pile that had some words imprinted on it resembling a poem. I had never looked closely at it or noticed the words before. It had belonged to Mimi, my grandmother. I didn’t really like the colors of the bandana, and I had no real sentimental attachment to it, but for some reason I had brought it home after she passed away the year before.

After having the bandana tucked away in my closet for over a year, I realized that the words were actually Scriptures, and I felt compelled to read the verses.  I sat down on the edge of my bed and began weeping with a powerful sense of relief as I savored the words.

 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust!”
For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;
Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.
A thousand may fall at your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.
You will only look on with your eyes
And see the recompense of the wicked.
For you have made the Lord, my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place.
No evil will befall you,
Nor will any plague come near your tent.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.
They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.

Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
“With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation.

 — Psalm 91 (NASB)

While wiping away my tears, my burden lifted, and my spirit settled into a warm, peaceful place. It’s hard to describe the magnitude of my relief. The verses in Psalm 91 were special to me because they had ministered to me many times before.

There is a song we used to sing at church that has the words of this Psalm for its lyrics. The song and verses have always melted my heart—speaking directly to the unsettled places inside me.

As I read each word of the Scriptures on the bandana, it was as though Christ was sitting there holding me tightly saying, “See, Amy, I will take care of you; I am showing you that I will.” Discovering some of my favorite Scriptures written on a scarf was a sweet personal touch from Jesus—straight from His heart to mine.

While holding the bandana my memory was jolted and I thought of a time in my childhood when I was shopping in a department store with Mimi, and I had gotten separated from her. I was probably about five years old. I can still envision myself standing there with a saleswoman feeling panicked and frightened. Thoughts were racing through my head. Would I be okay? Would I find my grandmother?

Can you imagine the magnitude of my relief when I saw my grandmother’s face after being separated from her? The emotions were overwhelming as I ran to her and embraced her. I felt the same emotions on the day when I stumbled upon the words of Psalm 91 on Mimi’s bandana. I felt warmly held in my Father’s embrace, with an overwhelming sense of love and protection.

Even though it’s been nearly six years since Christ used a scarf to melt away my discomfort and fear, I am still resting in the words of Psalm 91, and I pray those Scriptures over myself and my family each day. Every time God comes to my rescue, my heart falls deeper in love with Him.

The Lord amazes me with His ability to encourage His beloved children. He reveals His love in so many unique ways. Knowing Christ intimately brings us lasting joy and contentment that cannot be snatched away by the circumstances surrounding us.

Jesus is the One who satisfies the soul. He calms us in a chaotic world. He shows us that there is solace and serenity waiting for us. When we run to Him in despair, we find peace. When we run to our Father’s arms—the sacred dwelling place—we are hidden in the beautiful, secret place of His love.

This piece was originally written in 2008.

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INEXPRESSIBLY GRATEFUL

May 9, 2014 12:03 pm , 4 Comments ,

Inexpressible Gift

Although there are no human words to express my gratitude for what Christ has done for me, my heart’s desire is to capture the essence of my gratefulness in my prayers and letters to Him. I wrote this letter to Jesus in 2009 as my pledge of love to Him and my commitment to trust Him in every area of my life.

Dear Jesus,

I love You with all of my heart and soul. I love You more than the very breath You give me. Every step I take—I take for You. You excite me. You make my heart sing and dance. You make me happy. You make me want to leap and jump and skip. You make me feel like a little girl. You make me want to wake up every day and look for You.

I feel You with me. I know You’re beside me. I feel Your angels everywhere I go. There’s this amazing covering You have placed over me. Sometimes I feel Your presence so strongly that I almost think I can touch You. I am grateful.

I am amazed at your love for me. You relentlessly follow me and show me Your beauty. The joy you have placed in my heart is so overpowering that I cannot contain it at times.

I am overwhelmed by your love. I need You, my Lord, more than anything else and I praise and honor You for the ways You chase me with Your love. In every area I have been deprived in, You have given me an abundance of blessing.

Lord, I don’t want to ever doubt You again. Forgive me for taking so many years to get to this place of trust. I am thankful that I have fully accepted the gift of You and Your love. Help me to continually stay in this place of trust.

I am Yours always…no one can ever take me away from You. Your love permeates my heart. Your love lifts me high. Your love makes my life beautiful. How can I repay You for Your love for me?

Yours forever and always,
Amy

“Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!” — 2 Corinthians 9:15 (ESV)

I’m linking up for Five Minute Friday where Lisa Jo Baker and other awesome people write for five minutes flat with no self critiquing or no striving for perfection. This week’s prompt is: “Grateful.”

 Five Minute Friday

 

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A BEAUTIFUL MESS

May 2, 2014 3:25 pm , 4 Comments ,

A Beautiful Masterpiece

“He’s a beautiful mess!” My friend proclaimed these words about her Jesus-loving son a few weeks ago as she talked about her son’s life while we were having lunch together. The moment she said those words, I thought: “That’s the perfect way to describe a Jesus-follower.” After all, it is Christ who takes our messy lives and turns them into something beautiful over time.

Apostle Paul said that we are to boast in our shortcomings because it is in our weaknesses that Christ’s power is made perfect. So after Jesus set me free from being a self-righteous church lady, I began joyfully boasting about my weaknesses.

I believe Christ uses those who openly share their weaknesses with others so much more than the ones who act so stuffy and perfect. Why would people need a savior if they were so perfect, anyway?

Joy oozes out of the soul as we embrace the reality that we don’t have to measure up anymore.

That’s the beauty of the gospel message. Jesus came and died so that we could live a life of beauty. The pressure is off to perform. We are free to live abundantly because we have Jesus—the Artist who takes us as a broken mess and creates a beautiful masterpiece of art out of our lives.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

I’m linking up for Five Minute Friday where Lisa Jo Baker and other awesome people write for five minutes flat with no self critiquing or no striving for perfection. This week’s prompt is: “Mess.” It took me more than five minutes to write this post today.

Five Minute Friday

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